I know a cat, who spent her teenage years giving the best bones of fish to her sister. Bitsy knitted a sweater and gave it away to her sister. Bitsy won a trip to a wonderland and decided to send her sister away instead. When Bitsy got married, she would sneak behind her husband’s back to send money and her new stockings to the loved one. Bitsy’s sister chose to spend it all on dresses to impress intellectuals she met while listening to jazz.
Years went by and Bitsy saw sorrow in her sister’s eyes. Bitsy’s sister said it was her fault she had such bitter life. You see, Bitsy had spoiled her when she was growing up and no apology could fix the messed up life.
I know another cat. Her name is Dairy and I love her dearly. We grew up playing with the same shadows. I would laugh with her till dawn and give the best piece of fish to her. That’s what you do to show love. I saw her laugh and cry, fall in love and not being able to get out of bed, because the world seemed too dark for her.
Dairy never liked cats I brought home. She would sometimes call me names and add too much salt into the food that I made. She skipped too many dinners just to prove her point and would sometimes say things that really hurt.
I never expected an apology from her for all the naughtiness she’s ever caused. I always felt I am the sensible one and just swallowed whatever she has served on my plate, thinking I am too sensitive and should just grow up.
We went on a lifetime adventure together. We traveled to foreign lands to look for some cool cats. We lay in the sun just like local lizards have showed us. Dairy was not happy with our finds. She expected more from the world.
One day we had a fight. I cried alone hoping she would understand. We haven’t spoken since then. I wish her all the best and I dream of the days when we play in the sun again.
I am sorry for not being enough. I love you a lot x